TWO APPROACHES REGARDING OBEDIENCE: an outline of remarks to the Community on 30 August 2020
by Rt. Rev. Michael-John Austin, Abbot

Credits: 

Abbot Lawrence of Christ in the Desert
Rev. Jane Tomaine
Sr. Joan Chittister
Will Bowen

Outline: Two approaches regarding obedience

Rule of St. Benedict, Chapter 5

The first step of humility is unhesitating obedience, which comes naturally to those who cherish Christ above all.

Chapter 7

The first step of humility is that a person keeps the fear of God always before their eyes and never forgets it.

THESE TWO APPROACHES are not contradictory but share the same vision of a subject matter having the same goal. Chapter 7 is about obedience seen in the light of humility. Humility is never humiliation. Rather, humility is about informing and permeating everything it touches; it is about bringing out the best when we would rather lean on old excuses and reactions. Humility is like an astronomer seeking the far reaches of the universe hunting for an undiscovered star, planet, or galaxy. Having found it, he shares it with the world, and in response, the scientific community names it after its finder. Scripture speaks of this as a black pearl, whose finder sells all that he must to acquire it. The finder goes all-in to become one, to hold the black pearl as no one else can; it is cared for, it is loved. Humility is about lifting and holding us in such a way that our best parts shine like the facets of a rare stone.

Obedience teaches us that we don’t have to have the final say on most things – in fact, on nothing except that which is immoral. Abbot Lawrence writes: Humble obedience is practicing what it means to seek to do God’s will and not our own. “Even when we think that the superior is stupid or wrong or stubborn, strong obedience give us a wonderful grasp of what it means to seek God’s will and not ours.” Benedict speaks to this in Chapter 68 — the impossible task. When a monk [here I insert partner, wife, husband, boss, Warden, Vestry, anyone who has the gall to push us to our limits] finds that what is asked is beyond his abilities, the monk seeks the appropriate time and explains to the initiator of the request why it feels impossible to meet the task. This is done without pride, obstinacy, or refusal. Having said his piece, the superior may, for the betterment of the monk, still ask the monk to push through his physical and emotional obstacles, trusting in God’s help, and the monk in love obeys.

Abbot Lawrence again states that we must face the modern thinking that says that we should seek truth together and discern it together.

There is something to be said about this, and it is called “calling the House together to listen and advise” as directed by Chapter 3 of the Rule. Ultimately, the decision is in the hands of the abbot.

Abbot Lawrence continues: Often in discerning things together, no one gives way to another person, and it is right in this indifference that the Rule would have us accept the decision and judgment of another.

In my own experience, I have noticed this approach, called mutual discernment, failing because of its approach. It is not patient and without pride, is obstinate, and does not hold the other as the center of its attention but rather itself.

While serving our guests, in asking the husband what he would choose best for himself, the husband’s response is interrupted by his wife saying “that his choice is not right or good for him.” All the poor man wanted was one crêpe-like buttermilk pancake. The husband responds: “Yes, dear, whatever you say, dear.” This form of mutual discernment is not discernment at all, even if it is well intentioned. It is the obliteration of the other’s self-knowing, self-knowledge, self-awareness, and feels like bullying under the guise of affection.

Humility IS the reflection of God, who was willing to die so that we might have the possibility of right choices and yes, even wrong choices. As stated in our understanding of Conversion of life, Humility is always our mentor, teacher; it is the farmer who plows up the ground, removing roots and stones. The farmer prepares the ground in furrows and plants the seed. The farmer tends the ground removing weeds that stand in the way of what’s to come. Then he waits. Humility never bullies us into being less than what our DNA (God’s grand design for us) has in store for us.

Humility extends itself to all the seeds that fall inside and outside of the furrows. Humility embraces the seeds who are excited about its possibilities — only to be crushed by the realities of life; and then there are the seeds that actually grow in straight rows, encouraging each other in the full sun of possibilities.

In the trailer for the sitcom The Chrisleys, the wife states “…that we should all live as if it was our last day.” Her husband responds: “Oh, does that mean I am getting lucky tonight?” The wife responds: “No.”

So much of our discernment with each other has some very low-hanging fruit/implications: as Mrs. Chrisley would have us believe, we should all live today as if it were our last, as long as Mrs. Chrisley is writing the script.

This is not discernment, it’s extortion. It isn’t obedience, it is malware gone bad in a relationship.

Lest it appear that I am sexist, I have heard men quoting Scripture to their wife, forcing them into compliance, and worse yet, making their wife a sex slave — on demand. Not only is this a misinterpretation of Holy Scripture, it is not Love. For Love is patient and kind, … Love is never rude and never seeks its own advantage. Read that some place. Love, on the other hand, is like water poured out on thirsty ground, seeking only an abundant harvest in the Fall.

Obedience is holy listening, encouraging us to be the best we have to offer. Without holy listening, there can’t be any obedience that reflects the Goodness of God. Without holy listening, there can’t be any decision made that does not reflect our own self-interest and ego. In fact, without holy listening, we become the idol of our own making, worshiping it, bowing to it, submitting ourselves to IT. As the psalmist would say: The maker of idols will become like them. They have eyes but they cannot see, have ears but cannot hear, have voices but cannot speak, have hands but cannot feel.

Obedience for the sake of obedience is NO obedience at all. It is frail, it is made from soft stone that will in time crack, and the body upon which it stands will crumble and fall. Obedience without holy listening is like a house inspector looking for imperfections in a foundation, giving him license to write himself up, avoiding the need of a strong foundation, the original intention of obedience.

The response of obedience, according to St. Benedict, must be spontaneous and joyful. Obedience must be given gladly. What matters isn’t the deed itself but the motivation behind the deed. According to the Rev. Jane Tomaine in St. Benedict’s Toolbox: The Nuts and Bolts of Everyday Benedictine Living, St. Benedict does not tolerate grumbling, or as he puts it, “murmuring” — whether it’s audible or spoken silently within the heart. Why is St. Benedict so adamant against grumbling? Amma Tomaine interprets St. Benedict’s Rule on murmuring,

“Grumbling is detrimental to both the spiritual life and to the community as a whole. A resistant or whiny attitude creates “black holes of negativity. While it may make us temporarily feel better to complain about a situation or person, it won’t help us accomplish anything good. Grumbling about someone else (which we refer to as gossiping) is probably the most dangerous thing we can do in a community, in a family, or in a relationship. Even silent grumbling spills over to our community, for it affects the way we interact with others. Grumbling adds a destructive negativity and permeates a community so that the whole becomes unwell.”

Sr. Joan Chittister, OSB, in Living the Rule Today, asks those who are compelled to grumble:

“To people who sign up but then complain, we ask them not to sign up at all; give us the gift of not murmuring.”

I continue: we all need a plan. Will Bowen developed one in 2006 in hopes of changing lives. Within one year after his initial challenge, more than 6 million people’s lives were changed. The challenge was to go 21 consecutive days without complaining, criticizing, or gossiping, and in so doing, forming a new, positive habit, a new, more positive being.

Saint Benedict concludes Chapter 7 with the following words:  … after ascending the steps of humility, the monk arrives at that perfect love of God that casts out the fear of failure. Through this love, all that the monk performed with dread, he will now begin to observe without effort, as though naturally, from habit, no longer out of fear of hell, but out of love for Christ, good habit and delight in virtue.

Weaving back to Chapter 5, Benedict repeats this theme with: The first step of humility is unhesitating obedience, which comes naturally to those who cherish Christ above all. … My question is: How naturally is that coming?

It is love that impels us to pursue everlasting life; therefore, we are eager to take the harder road of which the Lord says: [I paraphrase] A prolonged hard run produces a second wind, making it easier to breathe and finish the race. We need to get to the point of reaching our second wind so we can reach our goal, but this can’t happen if we never enter the race. [repeat]

We need to enter the race and run hard. Therefore, as of today, we enter the race together with a 14-day challenge. We will drop the use of the pronoun “I” or any form of it when talking and thinking. “I” is about the self and not about relationships. “I” is a silent, possessive arbiter of how we see and understand the world. I is “Mine,” not God’s. The challenge goes on: We will not grumble, criticize, or complain. When we fail, we have to start over again with day one. This is about “thinking before speaking.” Benedict would remind us that “a wise person is known for his few words.” Its hard working around the “I,” for it has had a stranglehold on us more than we are willing to admit.

As stated about Conversion of Life, its process is about making incremental steps, right choices, and wrong choices. It is about making enough right choices that this eventually changes who we are.

For those who have leadership roles, how about a seven-day challenge to your constituents [to do the same]? Think about how this might change your relationship with individuals, how it could change the character of a parish, social circle, or team?

We will check in with each other at our Zoom meeting to see how we are doing. Honesty is paramount. We will never arrive alone or together at our destination if we are not honest about our failures.

By living into Humility, which is an act of love, by listening with holy ears which is love, we will come to obedience with a new understanding of what it really means, — LOVE.

By changing our words, we change our thoughts and attitudes. Then, think of the impossible — incarnating ourselves as God originally intended.